How to overcome social anxiety

You Are Different, Here's Why 💫

Good Morning Queen, 

Today I want to tell you why you are different than the vast majority of the population. All the others who do not understand what powerful creators they are. 

Most people believe the negative thoughts they think about how unworthy they are, about how they aren't capable, about how they don't deserve to receive greatly in life, about how they will always suffer.... are true. 

This is something I understand so well. I lived most of my life believing theseFEAR based thoughts:

-False
-Evidence
-Appearing
-Real 

Then one day I finally got sick of that life, discovered how to change my mindset, and up-leveled my whole entire life. With this new found knowledge I began to help other women do the exact same thing in their lives too.  

IMG_3135.PNG

Sometimes our negative thoughts are rooted down so deep in the subconscious mind that we actually believe they are true even when they aren’t.

Believe it or not, if you are unhappy, it’s actually easier to stay that way than it is to change. To keep believing the same untrue beliefs. To keep believing you aren’t good enough. To stay stuck. To blame, criticize, and judge yourself and others.

That’s why most people stay stuck in lack and limitation forever.

That’s why you are different.

You are the type of person who takes massive action. You are the type of person who says enough is enough. You are the type of person who is so sick of hearing herself complain.

You understand your worth and you’re willing to fight for it. You’re willing to get help because you understand the vibration of the world depends on it. When you rise, everyone and everything around you rises too 

You are ready to step into your Queen version. You don’t have to ask ANYONE for permission. You do what you know you need to do to get to your next best place. Your heart, soul, and intuition tell you when it is time to move, not anyone else. 

See, I told you, you are different. :)

If you'd like to discuss and learn even more this topic join me LIVE today (Tuesday, April 23rd) around 1 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
Client Testimonials
Book a Soulmate Session
Free Positive Affirmations MP3
Instagram
Youtube

PS- Are you finally ready to start living a life you truly love? Ready to become a powerful manifester? Ready to start growing a spiritually aligned and thriving business? CLICK HERE to book a 60 min, complimentary Soulmate Session with me. 

Too Many Decisions Hurt Your Brain?? Welcome to Decision Fatigue 😓

The second you wake up, the decision making starts…  to press the snooze button or not, what to wear, what to eat, what to pack for lunch, what to pack your kids for lunch… the list goes on and on and on.

Research shows that we make an average of 35,000 decisions every day! Making so many decisions can be exhausting, so exhausting in fact, it has its own name: Decision Fatigue.

This term was created by Roy F. Baumeister, a world-renowned social psychologist and author of, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. According to Baumeister, long bouts of decision making tires your brain, in the same way, a long bout of exercise tires your muscles. 

This phenomenon doesn’t just make you tired. Decision fatigue has a negative affect on your self-control, willpower, and productivity which can lead to a slew of negative consequences.

CLICK HERE to listen to my podcast on Willpower on The Mindset By Design Podcast

CLICK HERE to see my video explaining how willpower is like a battery and must be charged up. 

For example, you might get annoyed and lose your temper at a loved one if they ask you a question when you feel decision fatigue. Or you might say “I don’t care, you decide.” when you really should care and be involved in the decision, you just don't have the energy to do so. 

During decision fatigue, your brain might short circuit completely causing you to freeze and make no decision at all. This is sometimes called analysis paralysis. 

Decision fatigue is particularly troublesome in the digital age because we have so much information being thrown at us every second of the day. This means our brain is constantly getting bombarded with information to make decisions on: to click or not to click, to scroll or not to scroll, to buy or not to buy. 

Here’s the good news, there are a few strategies you can use to combat decision fatigue especially during a decision-heavy day. 

Keep reading to learn the 5 simple strategies (plus bonus strategy!) you can use to combat decision fatigue. 

Photo Cred: I Done This Blog 

IMG_1862.JPG

Here are your 5 strategies, plus one extra for good measure :)

1. Prioritize Quiet Time
Have you ever noticed how your best ideas come when you are brushing your teeth, when you’re in the shower, or while you're on a leisurely walk? That is because these activities take no conscious effort. This means your conscious mind (the thinking/logical part of your brain) can take a break. This allows you to tap into your subconscious mind more easily. 

This is where all your new creative knowledge lives that gets blocked by all the conscious work your mind has to do every day. Taking time to quiet down the conscious mind will work wonders for your stress levels (decision fatigue increases stress) and can actually improve the neurological connections in your brain. This is also why meditation and POSITIVE AFFIRMATION TRACKS can be so powerful. They give your conscious "thinking" mind the break it needs. 

2. Create Habits and Routines to Decrease Decision Making
Ever wonder why geniuses like Steve Jobs, creator of Apple, wore the same black turtleneck, round glasses, and jeans every single day? He didn’t do this just because he really liked black turtlenecks. He did this because it gave his brain extra energy to spend on more important decisions, like building a multi-billion dollar company.  As a matter of fact, Baumeister found that the most successful people in the world combat decision fatigue by developing habits and routines like this. 

You can help combat decision fatigue in your life by creating a calendar of breakfasts, dinners, deciding what to wear to work the night before, and scheduling in quiet time every single day. This will give your brain a break from decision making so it has the energy for important things. 

3. Chunk Your Day
Chunking or batching your work is another way to combat decision fatigue. What this means is to block off specific days and/or times for certain work. For example, you can book in specific times to check your emails every day. You can choose specific days to work on certain tasks like Monday can be an article writing day and Tuesday can be a day you see clients while Friday can be your catch up day. Chunking your work in this way will cut down on the decisions you have to make because every hour of every day you’ll know what you are supposed to be focusing on. 

4. Give Yourself a Deadline
Setting deadlines for your decision making will stop you from going into analysis paralysis which is a huge energy drainer. Generally, the more time you give yourself to make a decision the longer you will spin your wheels. Setting deadlines also gives your brain an intention to focus on which will help you make a decision quicker. (Next week we will learn just how powerful intention setting is so stay tuned next Tuesday for that email.)

5. Make Sure to Bring Snacks
This one might sound funny but it’s actually super important. Not only is your brain’s main fuel source glucose but it has been scientifically proven that hunger can cause people to make impulsive decisions. What’s really interesting is that the hormone ghrelin (which is produced by your stomach when you are hungry) has been shown to decrease impulse control.

Having a healthy snack handy during long meetings or when you know it’s going to be a while until your next meal can give your brain and body the fuel it needs to make decisions more easily causing you less decision fatigue.

BONUS STRATEGY:
If you'd like to discuss and learn even more about Decision Fatigue and how it affects entrepreneurs join me LIVE today (Tuesday, Jan. 29nd) at 1:15 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

At the end of the day, there is no way you'll ever be able to stop making decisions but you can use these 5 strategies to help stop decision fatigue before it causes negative consequences in your life. 

Has decision fatigue ever had a negative affect in your life or in your business? 

Leave a comment and let me know.

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
Client Testimonials
Book a Soulmate Session
Free Positive Affirmations MP3
Instagram
Youtube

PS- Remember to join the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE.Can't wait to see you there!

My #1 hack to feel confident around anyone, anyplace, anytime.

Hi Gorgeous, 

You know that feeling you get when you go to a networking event or when you are around a bunch of people you don't know?

Like you have to prepare a synopsis of all the amazing things you are doing in business and in life?

I used to feel like this all the time. 

Like I had to be so INTERESTING to be worthy. 

It was like I thought I had to EARN my place in the world. 

This put sooooo much pressure on me when I would go to networking events or just out in public in general. Especially when I had severe social anxiety. 

Now I understand that, in social situations, it is so much better to be INTERESTED rather than INTERESTING. 

Watch the video below or keep reading to understand what I mean. 

When you approach people with a smile and genuine heartfelt interest...in them, what they do, what they love, what their hopes wishes and dreams are...

It also allows the other person to let their light shine. This feels really good to both people. Win/Win!

This also releases the pressure of feeling the need to "perform" or "be on show" by telling everyone about yourself. 

This is the quickest way for you to build massive rapport with people too which is an amazing skill to have in business and in life. 

Finally, it is also important for me to point out that you were BORN WORTHY. You do not have to prove yourself to anyone. 

Simply being there, with the beautiful light and love you bring to the room, is enough to "earn" your place in the world. 

When you bring your full and best self, you are a gift and a prize to everyone you meet. 

Always remember that Goddess. 

Much Love, 

Steph
Book a Soulmate Session
Free Positive Affirmations MP3
Instagram
Youtube 

How to Overcome Social Anxiety

So, you know how there are some people who can walk into a room full of strangers (by themselves!) with full confidence? Able to strike up a conversation with anyone?

While others can hardly say hello to the mailman they've had for 10 years, let alone a room full of strangers.

For the latter, this uncomfortable "shyness" only gets worse in situations where they feel on display or when in group settings, like a workout class or a networking event.

For some people (like me!), this "shyness" can turn into debilitating social anxiety.

Can you believe I couldn't even leave my house at one point?

If the fear of stepping out into social situations is holding you back from doing great things in the world, please know, you are not alone. Far from it. 

The truth is, over 15 million people suffer with social anxiety in the U.S. alone, making it extremely common.

Watch the video below, or keep reading, to hear Steph's story of social anxiety and how she overcame it. 

So what is social anxiety anyway?

People with social anxiety usually experience distress when:

  • They're introduced to new people

  • They feel teased or criticized (which feels as though is happening ALL THE TIME even when it's not.)

  • They're the center of attention (I used to hate this so much!)

  • Being watched while doing something (cringe!)

  • Meeting authority figures or anyone perceived as "important"

  • Most social encounters, especially with strangers

  • Going around the room (or table) in a circle and having to say something (more cringing!)

  • Interpersonal relationships (romantic, business, and friendships can all cause discomfort)

Social anxiety is, in a very small nutshell, the fear of being negatively judged by others.

This perceived judgment (which most of the time IS NOT REAL, watch the video for more on this) leads to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, self-consciousness, embarrassment, humiliation, and sometimes even depression.

Here's the cool part, if I have been able to heal myself of this, you can too. It took my many years to figure out how to get a handle on, it and what to do to combat it. 

Below are the 4 main strategies I used to leave social anxiety in the dust (much more on all of these in the video):

  • Practice self-love and self-worth

    • When you truly love yourself and understand how worthy you are you feel comfortable anyplace, around anyone. YOU ARE A QUEEN. 

  • Release judgments of self AND others

    • The more we judge ourselves and others, the more we feel judged. Period. 

  • Get help

    • Whether it is a therapist or a coach, it is important to get help when the going gets tough. Remember, you are not alone. 

  • Finally understand you have some important gifts to set-forth in the world

    • I truly believe that each and every one of us was brought here to earth for a very specific and divine reason. It is your job to figure out what that is and to then confidently step out into the world and let it rip! (this is my favorite thing to help women do.)

Another cool thing is that listening toPositive Affirmation Trackscan help a ton with all of these things too. 

The bottom line is.... you are supposed to feel comfortable and confident anyplace, anywhere, anytime and around anyone.

If you don't, that just means there are some things you need to take a closer look at. 

If I can do it, you can do it. yay! 

Much Love, 

Steph
Book a Soulmate Session
Free Positive Affirmations MP3
Instagram
Youtube