NLP

Ever Feel Misunderstood or Judged? Here's the Truth 💫

Hi Gorgeous Queen, 

Have you ever felt misunderstood, before you’ve even spoken? Kind of like you’re under a microscope at all times? Like you have to choose your words so wisely so you don't offend anyone or look stupid?

I used to feel like that ALL THE TIME and it was so uncomfortable. Because I felt so uncomfortable I used to silence myself and hold myself back in so many ways.

I had a deep-rooted fear of what others would think of me. I would often worry, “What if they misunderstand me?”, “What if they hate me or judge me?”, "What if they laugh at me?", "What if I make someone mad or upset?"

Even worse, there were times when I would get brave enough to speak my truth about certain spiritual beliefs and mindset techniques, that I knew could help others, only to have people make fun of me online and roll their eyes at me in person. (This was devastating at the time but now I find it so funny because I understand I totally created this reality lol) 

If you ever feel this way or if this has ever happened to you, it is important for you to know the truth. 

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Here's the truth...as long as what you say comes from a place of LOVE you have the right to say whatever is on your heart. It’s all about the intention. If your intention is pure and good, then you can not cause any harm. 

The hard part is understanding that the other people in your life and online might not be in the right place to feel your love and caring. They might not be in the right place to fully understand your words. (Cool thing is, in my experience, they always do eventually, even if it takes years.) 

You are not in control of how your words are taken. You are in control of how you say them, your intention behind them, and how you handle the response you receive back... even when it’s not the response you’d hoped for. 

And that is that :) 

If you'd like to learn some techniques on how to handle negative responses in a better way, join me LIVE today (Tuesday, May 14th) around 1 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
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PS- Are you finally ready to start living a life you truly love? Ready to become a powerful manifester? Ready to start growing a spiritually aligned and thriving business? CLICK HERE to book a 60 min, complimentary Soulmate Session with me. 

KonMari Your Life and Mind Not Just Your Closet (Here's How) 💃💫

Hi my gorgeous friend, 

Happy Tuesday :)

About 3.5 years ago, 1 month before my mom passed away, I serendipitously discovered the book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo.

(Have you read it? Hit reply and let me know what you thought of it.)

Once I heard her method included organizing things into piles that bring you joy and those that don't, I knew I had to get a copy. 

This is something I had been recommending my coaching clients do for years. I just didn't say it as eloquently as Marie Kondo does lol. 

I read the book because I was interested in Marie's methodology. What I didn't know was that this book would help me tremendously when I lost my beautiful mother.

Just one month later, my sister and I found ourselves going through, and having to donate, most of our Mom's things after she passed away. 

Reading this book gave me the clarity and strength I needed to understand that my beloved mother did not live in her things. I would always have her memory no matter how many of her things I donated.

I was able to objectively ask myself, does this bring me joy? And if the answer was no, I put it in the donate pile. 

Ever since then, it's become one of my favorite books, for more reasons that one, as you'll soon see.

Marie Kondo now has a Netflix series that is taking the world by storm! I have even seen articles saying that places like GoodWill have been receiving an overflow of donations ever since the series aired! 

This got me thinking, what if people jumped on the bandwagon of ridding their mind and lives of the people, places, things, ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and self-talk that don't bring them joy with as much gusto as they do their closets?

This is actually a topic I have wanted to write about for years but I've been putting it off because it seemed so hard to articulate. 

As a matter of fact, in the middle of writing this blog, I realized that I just can't do it! lol. So instead, I got on camera and made a video so I could explain my thoughts about this to you verbally.  

Check out the video below. FYI... It's exactly 11:11 minutes long! If you know then you know :)

Now, do you get it?

Imagine how your life and business would change if you "KonMari'd" your life and mind instead of just your closet?

You would be the most powerful manifester known to man! You'd be a world changer and happier than you'd ever dreamed possible. 

Let's discuss this topic further! Join me LIVe in the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group around 1pm EST today. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join. Can’t wait to see you there!

If you'd like to learn more about the "KonMari Your Life" coaching package or if you'd like to take me up on my $500 off {!!!!!} any coaching package offer, simply CLICK HERE to complete a short application for a Soulmate Session with me. 

There is absolutely no obligation to book a Soulmate Session and they are complimentary. It simply gives us a chance to hang out, connect, and see if we are a good fit for each other. 

CLICK HERE for your complimentary session.

If you have any questions, please respond to this email and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

Can’t wait to hang out with you soon. :)

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
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PS- Remember to join the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE. I’ll be going LIVE in there today around 1pm EST. Can’t wait to see you there!

Feel More Productive in Coffee Shops? Here’s why ☕💥

Hi my gorgeous friend! 

I am sitting here at Armature Works in Tampa, sipping on a Yerba Mate tea, typing this blog and thought… 

Have you ever noticed how you feel way more productive and focused when you work from a coffee shop? 

I know I seem to accomplish more in two or three hours at a coffee shop than I do in an entire day working from home.

It's important to point out that I usually drink decaf coffee and tea so it’s not because of the caffeine. 

So if extra caffeine isn't the reason why most people feel more productive and focused at coffee shops then what is it, and more importantly, how can we cultivate the same focus and drive when we are at home or in the office?

Keep reading to learn the 3 key reasons you are so much more productive when you work from a coffee shop and 3 strategies you can use to enhance your productivity no matter where to you are. 

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1. Your Brain Seeks Out Novelty
The human brain is constantly seeking novelty, in other words, your subconscious mind is always on the lookout for things that are new and exciting. This makes perfect sense when you consider that our DNA and brain are still wired the same as our prehistoric ancestors. These people were hunter-gatherers roaming the earth for 1,000’s years. They were rarely in the same place for more than a few weeks or months. Talk about living a novel life! Life for them was different on a daily basis. Different is what our brain is wired to seek out, so when we don’t have it, our brain gets bored and unmotivated.

Another reason your brain likes new and different things is because when you are presented with something novel, your brain releases the neurotransmitter dopamine AKA the “feel good” chemical. Recent studies show that dopamine doesn't just make you feel good, it is also closely tied to motivation. This explains why getting yourself into a new environment, like a coffee shop, enhances your motivation, creativity, productivity, and happiness. 
 

1a. How To Make This Work For You
Basically, when you get your butt out of the house or out of your usual working space your brain really likes it. You can recreate this by taking your laptop outside or by switching up your workspace. If you work from home, move away from your desk. Sit at the kitchen table, on the couch, in the spare bedroom, or on the patio. If you work in an office, take your laptop outside. If that isn't an option for you, switch up your desk. Move your seat to the other side or buy new pictures and plants to create a new fresh feeling for your brain.


2. Some Routines Reduce Productivity 
As we learned last week some routines can really enhance productivity.  Some routines, however, do the complete opposite. For example, if you get into a routine of getting sucked down the Youtube, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter rabbit holes for hours every day instead of doing your work… that is a problem.

Just like unhealthy habits, unhealthy routines are easy to accidentally fall into but they aren’t as easy to stop. Our environment has a lot to do with our daily routines. For example, let’s say you’ve started a daily routine of going down the social media rabbit hole for hours every day and this new habit starts as soon as you sit on the couch or in the breakroom to eat lunch.

Basically this negative scrolling routine has been anchored (an NLP term used when neurology gets connected to a trigger) to your couch or breakroom. This means that the second you take yourself away from your couch or breakroom and into a new environment, like a coffee shop, that set of neurology won't loop and you’ll do work instead of getting sucked into social media.

2a. How To Make This Work For You
So if you have found that you have accidentally developed a negative routine that is draining your productivity you need to first acknowledge you have fallen into a negative routine. Once you admit it is a problem you can start to plan ways to break the pattern (which is really just looping neurology).

You can schedule in a cellphone-free walk, you can book in calls with friends and family, you can set an alarm to give yourself a specific amount of scrolling time before you have to put the phone away. If the routine, habit, or looping negative thoughts you have fallen into have become more than you can handle or break on your own, hire a coach you can trust to help you get you back on track and moving towards your hopes, wishes, and dreams. 

3. Your Intention, That’s What It’s All About
There is yet another reason why we feel so much more productive at coffee shops. It’s because we simply set the intention that we are going to be super productive before we head out. In other words, we make the conscious decision before we leave, “I am going to get a ton of work done today.” and so that is exactly what happens.

In the book, The Intention Experiment, by Lynne McTaggart,  William A. Tiller, a professor Stanford University states, “For the last 400 years, an unstated assumption of science is that human intention cannot affect what we call physical reality. Our experimental research of the past decade shows that, for today’s world and under the right conditions, this assumption is no longer correct.”

3a. How To Make This Work For You
As you can see, intention setting is very powerful and the best part is, it is easy to implement into your daily routine. In the morning, before you start work you can set some intentions for the day. These intentions can be about anything from work, to how you want to feel, to your personal life. Below are some example of some of the intentions I have set for my day in the past: 

  • I will allow today to be easy.

  • I will understand that I am fully supported by the universe/divine/source/spirit.

  • I will choose to understand that everything (even the bad things) are happening in my favor. 

  • I will intentionally smile at strangers. 

  • I will count my blessing and say thank you often

  • I will fully clean out my email inbox today. 

  • I will complete all the forms for my dog's appointments. 

  • I will get half my taxes done today. 

As you can see there are many reasons why we are more productive in coffee shops. Now you have the knowledge you need in order to bring that increase in motivation with you everywhere you go. Pretty cool right?

Want to discuss and learn even more about "The Coffee Shop Affect?" Join me LIVE today (Tuesday, Feb 5th) at 12:30 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live.

Can't wait to hang out with you live and in person inside the group!

Also, I'd love to hear what your favorite tidbit of knowledge is from today's topic. Hit the comment button and let me know :)

Much love, 

Steph
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PS- Remember to join the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE.Can't wait to see you there!

Too Many Decisions Hurt Your Brain?? Welcome to Decision Fatigue 😓

The second you wake up, the decision making starts…  to press the snooze button or not, what to wear, what to eat, what to pack for lunch, what to pack your kids for lunch… the list goes on and on and on.

Research shows that we make an average of 35,000 decisions every day! Making so many decisions can be exhausting, so exhausting in fact, it has its own name: Decision Fatigue.

This term was created by Roy F. Baumeister, a world-renowned social psychologist and author of, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. According to Baumeister, long bouts of decision making tires your brain, in the same way, a long bout of exercise tires your muscles. 

This phenomenon doesn’t just make you tired. Decision fatigue has a negative affect on your self-control, willpower, and productivity which can lead to a slew of negative consequences.

CLICK HERE to listen to my podcast on Willpower on The Mindset By Design Podcast

CLICK HERE to see my video explaining how willpower is like a battery and must be charged up. 

For example, you might get annoyed and lose your temper at a loved one if they ask you a question when you feel decision fatigue. Or you might say “I don’t care, you decide.” when you really should care and be involved in the decision, you just don't have the energy to do so. 

During decision fatigue, your brain might short circuit completely causing you to freeze and make no decision at all. This is sometimes called analysis paralysis. 

Decision fatigue is particularly troublesome in the digital age because we have so much information being thrown at us every second of the day. This means our brain is constantly getting bombarded with information to make decisions on: to click or not to click, to scroll or not to scroll, to buy or not to buy. 

Here’s the good news, there are a few strategies you can use to combat decision fatigue especially during a decision-heavy day. 

Keep reading to learn the 5 simple strategies (plus bonus strategy!) you can use to combat decision fatigue. 

Photo Cred: I Done This Blog 

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Here are your 5 strategies, plus one extra for good measure :)

1. Prioritize Quiet Time
Have you ever noticed how your best ideas come when you are brushing your teeth, when you’re in the shower, or while you're on a leisurely walk? That is because these activities take no conscious effort. This means your conscious mind (the thinking/logical part of your brain) can take a break. This allows you to tap into your subconscious mind more easily. 

This is where all your new creative knowledge lives that gets blocked by all the conscious work your mind has to do every day. Taking time to quiet down the conscious mind will work wonders for your stress levels (decision fatigue increases stress) and can actually improve the neurological connections in your brain. This is also why meditation and POSITIVE AFFIRMATION TRACKS can be so powerful. They give your conscious "thinking" mind the break it needs. 

2. Create Habits and Routines to Decrease Decision Making
Ever wonder why geniuses like Steve Jobs, creator of Apple, wore the same black turtleneck, round glasses, and jeans every single day? He didn’t do this just because he really liked black turtlenecks. He did this because it gave his brain extra energy to spend on more important decisions, like building a multi-billion dollar company.  As a matter of fact, Baumeister found that the most successful people in the world combat decision fatigue by developing habits and routines like this. 

You can help combat decision fatigue in your life by creating a calendar of breakfasts, dinners, deciding what to wear to work the night before, and scheduling in quiet time every single day. This will give your brain a break from decision making so it has the energy for important things. 

3. Chunk Your Day
Chunking or batching your work is another way to combat decision fatigue. What this means is to block off specific days and/or times for certain work. For example, you can book in specific times to check your emails every day. You can choose specific days to work on certain tasks like Monday can be an article writing day and Tuesday can be a day you see clients while Friday can be your catch up day. Chunking your work in this way will cut down on the decisions you have to make because every hour of every day you’ll know what you are supposed to be focusing on. 

4. Give Yourself a Deadline
Setting deadlines for your decision making will stop you from going into analysis paralysis which is a huge energy drainer. Generally, the more time you give yourself to make a decision the longer you will spin your wheels. Setting deadlines also gives your brain an intention to focus on which will help you make a decision quicker. (Next week we will learn just how powerful intention setting is so stay tuned next Tuesday for that email.)

5. Make Sure to Bring Snacks
This one might sound funny but it’s actually super important. Not only is your brain’s main fuel source glucose but it has been scientifically proven that hunger can cause people to make impulsive decisions. What’s really interesting is that the hormone ghrelin (which is produced by your stomach when you are hungry) has been shown to decrease impulse control.

Having a healthy snack handy during long meetings or when you know it’s going to be a while until your next meal can give your brain and body the fuel it needs to make decisions more easily causing you less decision fatigue.

BONUS STRATEGY:
If you'd like to discuss and learn even more about Decision Fatigue and how it affects entrepreneurs join me LIVE today (Tuesday, Jan. 29nd) at 1:15 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

At the end of the day, there is no way you'll ever be able to stop making decisions but you can use these 5 strategies to help stop decision fatigue before it causes negative consequences in your life. 

Has decision fatigue ever had a negative affect in your life or in your business? 

Leave a comment and let me know.

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
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PS- Remember to join the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE.Can't wait to see you there!

Ever Feel Like a Fraud? How to Stop Imposter Syndrome in its Tracks💥🙅

Quick question, when it comes to being a #bossbabe biz owner, an amazing parent, or just living life... have you ever felt like a total FRAUD?

Sort of like, “Who am I to do, x, y, or z?”  or “Why would x, y, z person want to listen to me?”

If you said YES, you are definitely not alone, almost everyone has suffered from “Imposter Syndrome” at some point in their lives. Even super famous and successful people have felt this way before.  

According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, a whopping 70% of people suffer with, what the researchers refer to as, “Imposter Phenomenon."

Even more important to point out is this phenomenon affects women more than men. 

So if feeling like a fraud is so common, especially for women, what are we supposed to do when this negative feeling strikes?

Keep reading below to find out 5 strategies you can use to combat Imposter Syndrome next time it pops up in your life. 

Photo credit: Marie Forleo

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Here are 5 super simple strategies you can use to release Imposter Syndrome when it creeps up. 
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1.Let it Out
When you start to feel Imposter Syndrome coming on, talk about it with someone you trust like a friend, family member, or coach. Brene Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection and Rising Strong, says that the very best thing you can do in a “shame attack” is to have the courage to reach out.

Talking about your feelings neutralizes the negative charge and power they have over you. Think about a boiling pot. When you keep the lid on, the pressure builds up and eventually causes an explosion. When you remove the lid the pressure dissipates. Same with your shame.

This is one of the many reasons I include UNLIMITED Whatsapp coaching in between sessions for my clients. This allows them to reach out to me when they are having a hard time so that I can remind them how amazing they are, or in this case, all the reason why they are not a fraud, so they can move on with their lives in a positive direction MUCH quicker than they would do alone.

2. Remember The Spotlight Affect 
Sometimes when Imposter Syndrome creeps up it is because we feel judged. When you feel judged or like everyone is critiquing your every move in business, on social media, or in life you have to remember The Spotlight Affect. 

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, most of us considerably OVERESTIMATE how much attention or “spotlighting” people are placing on us. This is thought to happen because our brain perceives ourselves as the center of our own world, therefore we have a tendency to perceive our own actions, thoughts, and words to loom much larger than other people’s actions, thoughts, and words.  

In this study, the researchers were able to determine that we tend to overestimate judgments and criticisms by more than 50%! So next time you are feeling judged ask yourself if you are actually being judged or if it’s really just The Spotlight Affect in action.

3. Flip your Focus
Now that you understand the science behind The Spotlight Affect you can understand how flipping your attention from yourself and over to something else like, how you can help others or what you can do to grow your business, can help to free you from Imposter Syndrome.

It can be so easy to accidentally have a single focus on ourselves and how awful we are. When we flip that focus onto something positive, we are able to break the looping negative thoughts that accompany Imposter Syndrome. 

4. Focus on Your Successes & What You Are Grateful For
Here’s the truth, your mind is not on your side, and this is why when Imposter Syndrome pops we focus on what we lack and who you aren’t instead of on who we are and what we have, let me explain.

It was very important for our prehistoric ancestors to focus on the lions, tigers, and bears that could eat them or the food that would be lacking next season. In other words, their survival was dependent on their brain focusing on LACK and LIMITATION and since it takes 1,000’s of years for the human species to evolve, your brain is still wired to focus on the negative, even though these threats to your survival no longer exist in the modern world.

This is why it is so important for you to really internalize and fully feel the gratitude of your successes rather than focusing on your failures. CLICK HERE to read a blog post I wrote detailing the amazing science-based benefits that come with practicing gratitude. It's pretty amazing. 

5. Listen To Positive Affirmation Tracks
Listening to positive affirmation tracks is a super easy thing you can do to rewire the thoughts and beliefs you carry in your mind. Imposture Syndrome happens because we subconsciously carry a belief about ourselves that we are not good, enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough... FILL IN THE BLANK enough. Listening to positive affirmation tracks allows you to rewrite and replace these beliefs with positive ones. 

At first, when you begin to listen to positive affirmations, your brain might doubt what it hears is true. This is because the wiring in the brain hasn't been reset yet. The more and more and more you listen the softer your mindset will become and soon the affirmations will become beliefs. CLICK HERE to download a free, 60 minute long, positive affirmations track. 

BONUS STRATEGY:
If you'd like to discuss and learn even more about Imposture Syndrome join me LIVE today (Tuesday, Jan. 22nd) at 12 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

Now, I would love to hear which strategy is your favorite and which ones you are excited to try or have tried in the past. 

Hit the reply button and let me know. 

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
Client Testimonials
Book a Soulmate Session
Free Positive Affirmations MP3
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PS- Remember to join the MBD for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE.Can't wait to see you there!