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Is Perfectionism Holding You Back From Success? 🙈🙅

Hello Beauty!

Years ago, when I had severe anxiety, was completely broke, lonely, and lost… I held myself back so much because I thought I had to be perfect in order to be worthy. 

I allowed perfectionism to stop me from going after my dreams. I thought I had to be perfectly thin, perfectly dressed, perfectly smart, perfectly skilled, perfectly well-spoken, perfectly *fill in the blank* in order to be successful. 

No wonder I was so scared to move forward! Can you relate? 

You know what's interesting? According to the latest research, perfectionism has been on a steady rise over the last 3 decades. 

Some experts believe this increase is due to the amount of time we now spend on social media looking at people's "highlight reels."

These posts only show people and their families on their best days, with the best angles, best lighting, best outfits, best makeup, best hair, cleanest rooms, and are usually filtered to death. 

Even though most people aren't posting the true reality of their lives, these highlight reel posts are having a negative affect on our mindset and what we believe we need to be, do, and have in order to be worthy. 

Here is the problem with perfectionism. It is holding people back from living their dream lives. 

So, what actually is perfectionism anyway?

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Photo Cred: Psychology Today

The definition of perfectionism is: The refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

This refusal to accept anything other than perfection can express itself in many ways. You can be highly critical of yourself and, in turn, others too.

This can put a big strain on our relationships. When we place such high standards and expectations on others it can cause them to feel as though they are constantly walking on eggshells.  

Perfectionism can also be caused or reinforced by how you were raised, where you work, who you hang out with most, where you spend your spare time (like Facebook and Instagram), and also your personality. 

Interestingly, people with higher levels of anxiety tend to suffer from perfectionism more so than those who are anxiety free. (Anyone else raising their hand?? lol)

One of the biggest reasons people struggle with perfectionism (and one that is very common in the beautiful women I have the pleasure of coaching is)… Fear of failure. 

This is really a mindset issue. People who have a deep fear of failure view anything less than perfect as a failure, therefore, they avoid taking chances or going after their dreams.

Basically, they hold themselves back from greatness over an unrealistic belief that they have to be perfect in order to be successful.

Perfectionism also causes another nasty habit… procrastination. (Another topic we will be covering in depth in the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group,click here to join in on the conversation.)

When you feel like you have to be perfect, it can make it really hard for you to want to get started. As a matter of fact, it causes your brain to go into analysis paralysis. 

Luckily, there are a few simple strategies we can implement to stop perfectionism from holding us back from the success we want and deserve. 

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Photo Cred: Human in the System

How to Release Perfectionism for Good in 4 Simple Steps

1. Test it Out
If you have lived most of your life as a perfectionist, transforming into a free-spirited “this is good enough” kind of person overnight isn't realistic. This is why it is smarter to start with baby steps. For example, you can send an email without proofreading it 20 times first. Or you can go to a networking event even if you feel like you don't have the perfect outfit to wear or the perfect thing to say, reminding yourself before each "trial run" that perfection doesn't exist. 

Once you get comfortable dipping your toes in the “this is good enough/I am good enough” water, it will get easier and easier to release your need for perfection more and more and more. 

2. Change Your Perception 
Perfectionists can often hold the bar so high for themselves that is hard to know what “good enough” actually is. If this is you, what you can do is think to yourself, what would I tell my coworker, friend, son/daughter, or loved one about this? Would you call them too fat to speak in front of a crowd? Would you tell them they weren't perfect enough to go after their dreams? Probably not. 

Understanding when it would be “good enough” for someone else can help you to determine whether or not you are starting to fall into perfectionistic tendencies.

3. Set Time Limits 
Perfectionism can cause you to do 2 things:

#1 Procrastinate and do nothing or
#2 Make you take WAY too long to complete things so nothing ever gets done.

I currently provide mindset coaching to a large group of high-level entrepreneurs in the health space. Everyone from chiropractors, naturopaths, doctors, and dietician who are all launching online courses and practices. Some of these practitioners launch in 3 weeks while some are 12 months in and still haven’t launched. 

This is why, every chance I get, I tell the people who are taking longer to put a time limit on all the work they need to do in order to get their program launched. 

For example, if it is taking them a whole day or even a week to complete one exercise that is a red flag that perfectionism is kicking in. When I meet with these clients I always recommend that they give themselves a time limit for each task and that is the same advice I want to give to you. 

4. Schedule Your Perfectionism
For some of us, having a high standard is just in our DNA which, as we now know, can be a hindrance to our success, however, there is are different instances when your high bar can be used in your favor. So for example, if there is a task that is very detail oriented, numbers based, or if you are doing a project for a client, this can be a great time to strategically allow your high standards to shine brightly.

The important part here is that you allow yourself to, at the same time, loosen up on other things and also implement the previous strategies above too. 

DONE > PERFECT
Here is the truth, there is no such thing as perfect. It simply doesn’t exist. So if we keep aiming for perfection we will get stuck staying in the same place, never moving forward. This is why done will always beat perfect every time. 

If you'd like to discuss and learn even more about Perfectionism and how it can have a negative affect on entrepreneurs join me LIVE today (Tuesday, February 12th) at 2 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

Now I want to know, have you ever let perfectionism hold you back from greatness or going after your dreams? Hit the reply button and let me know.

Wishing you so much love!

See you later today in the group

Steph
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PS- Remember to join the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE.Can't wait to see you there!

Too Many Decisions Hurt Your Brain?? Welcome to Decision Fatigue 😓

The second you wake up, the decision making starts…  to press the snooze button or not, what to wear, what to eat, what to pack for lunch, what to pack your kids for lunch… the list goes on and on and on.

Research shows that we make an average of 35,000 decisions every day! Making so many decisions can be exhausting, so exhausting in fact, it has its own name: Decision Fatigue.

This term was created by Roy F. Baumeister, a world-renowned social psychologist and author of, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. According to Baumeister, long bouts of decision making tires your brain, in the same way, a long bout of exercise tires your muscles. 

This phenomenon doesn’t just make you tired. Decision fatigue has a negative affect on your self-control, willpower, and productivity which can lead to a slew of negative consequences.

CLICK HERE to listen to my podcast on Willpower on The Mindset By Design Podcast

CLICK HERE to see my video explaining how willpower is like a battery and must be charged up. 

For example, you might get annoyed and lose your temper at a loved one if they ask you a question when you feel decision fatigue. Or you might say “I don’t care, you decide.” when you really should care and be involved in the decision, you just don't have the energy to do so. 

During decision fatigue, your brain might short circuit completely causing you to freeze and make no decision at all. This is sometimes called analysis paralysis. 

Decision fatigue is particularly troublesome in the digital age because we have so much information being thrown at us every second of the day. This means our brain is constantly getting bombarded with information to make decisions on: to click or not to click, to scroll or not to scroll, to buy or not to buy. 

Here’s the good news, there are a few strategies you can use to combat decision fatigue especially during a decision-heavy day. 

Keep reading to learn the 5 simple strategies (plus bonus strategy!) you can use to combat decision fatigue. 

Photo Cred: I Done This Blog 

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Here are your 5 strategies, plus one extra for good measure :)

1. Prioritize Quiet Time
Have you ever noticed how your best ideas come when you are brushing your teeth, when you’re in the shower, or while you're on a leisurely walk? That is because these activities take no conscious effort. This means your conscious mind (the thinking/logical part of your brain) can take a break. This allows you to tap into your subconscious mind more easily. 

This is where all your new creative knowledge lives that gets blocked by all the conscious work your mind has to do every day. Taking time to quiet down the conscious mind will work wonders for your stress levels (decision fatigue increases stress) and can actually improve the neurological connections in your brain. This is also why meditation and POSITIVE AFFIRMATION TRACKS can be so powerful. They give your conscious "thinking" mind the break it needs. 

2. Create Habits and Routines to Decrease Decision Making
Ever wonder why geniuses like Steve Jobs, creator of Apple, wore the same black turtleneck, round glasses, and jeans every single day? He didn’t do this just because he really liked black turtlenecks. He did this because it gave his brain extra energy to spend on more important decisions, like building a multi-billion dollar company.  As a matter of fact, Baumeister found that the most successful people in the world combat decision fatigue by developing habits and routines like this. 

You can help combat decision fatigue in your life by creating a calendar of breakfasts, dinners, deciding what to wear to work the night before, and scheduling in quiet time every single day. This will give your brain a break from decision making so it has the energy for important things. 

3. Chunk Your Day
Chunking or batching your work is another way to combat decision fatigue. What this means is to block off specific days and/or times for certain work. For example, you can book in specific times to check your emails every day. You can choose specific days to work on certain tasks like Monday can be an article writing day and Tuesday can be a day you see clients while Friday can be your catch up day. Chunking your work in this way will cut down on the decisions you have to make because every hour of every day you’ll know what you are supposed to be focusing on. 

4. Give Yourself a Deadline
Setting deadlines for your decision making will stop you from going into analysis paralysis which is a huge energy drainer. Generally, the more time you give yourself to make a decision the longer you will spin your wheels. Setting deadlines also gives your brain an intention to focus on which will help you make a decision quicker. (Next week we will learn just how powerful intention setting is so stay tuned next Tuesday for that email.)

5. Make Sure to Bring Snacks
This one might sound funny but it’s actually super important. Not only is your brain’s main fuel source glucose but it has been scientifically proven that hunger can cause people to make impulsive decisions. What’s really interesting is that the hormone ghrelin (which is produced by your stomach when you are hungry) has been shown to decrease impulse control.

Having a healthy snack handy during long meetings or when you know it’s going to be a while until your next meal can give your brain and body the fuel it needs to make decisions more easily causing you less decision fatigue.

BONUS STRATEGY:
If you'd like to discuss and learn even more about Decision Fatigue and how it affects entrepreneurs join me LIVE today (Tuesday, Jan. 29nd) at 1:15 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

At the end of the day, there is no way you'll ever be able to stop making decisions but you can use these 5 strategies to help stop decision fatigue before it causes negative consequences in your life. 

Has decision fatigue ever had a negative affect in your life or in your business? 

Leave a comment and let me know.

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
Client Testimonials
Book a Soulmate Session
Free Positive Affirmations MP3
Instagram
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PS- Remember to join the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE.Can't wait to see you there!