mindset

Ever Feel Like a Fraud? How to Stop Imposter Syndrome in its Tracks💥🙅

Quick question, when it comes to being a #bossbabe biz owner, an amazing parent, or just living life... have you ever felt like a total FRAUD?

Sort of like, “Who am I to do, x, y, or z?”  or “Why would x, y, z person want to listen to me?”

If you said YES, you are definitely not alone, almost everyone has suffered from “Imposter Syndrome” at some point in their lives. Even super famous and successful people have felt this way before.  

According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, a whopping 70% of people suffer with, what the researchers refer to as, “Imposter Phenomenon."

Even more important to point out is this phenomenon affects women more than men. 

So if feeling like a fraud is so common, especially for women, what are we supposed to do when this negative feeling strikes?

Keep reading below to find out 5 strategies you can use to combat Imposter Syndrome next time it pops up in your life. 

Photo credit: Marie Forleo

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Here are 5 super simple strategies you can use to release Imposter Syndrome when it creeps up. 
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1.Let it Out
When you start to feel Imposter Syndrome coming on, talk about it with someone you trust like a friend, family member, or coach. Brene Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection and Rising Strong, says that the very best thing you can do in a “shame attack” is to have the courage to reach out.

Talking about your feelings neutralizes the negative charge and power they have over you. Think about a boiling pot. When you keep the lid on, the pressure builds up and eventually causes an explosion. When you remove the lid the pressure dissipates. Same with your shame.

This is one of the many reasons I include UNLIMITED Whatsapp coaching in between sessions for my clients. This allows them to reach out to me when they are having a hard time so that I can remind them how amazing they are, or in this case, all the reason why they are not a fraud, so they can move on with their lives in a positive direction MUCH quicker than they would do alone.

2. Remember The Spotlight Affect 
Sometimes when Imposter Syndrome creeps up it is because we feel judged. When you feel judged or like everyone is critiquing your every move in business, on social media, or in life you have to remember The Spotlight Affect. 

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, most of us considerably OVERESTIMATE how much attention or “spotlighting” people are placing on us. This is thought to happen because our brain perceives ourselves as the center of our own world, therefore we have a tendency to perceive our own actions, thoughts, and words to loom much larger than other people’s actions, thoughts, and words.  

In this study, the researchers were able to determine that we tend to overestimate judgments and criticisms by more than 50%! So next time you are feeling judged ask yourself if you are actually being judged or if it’s really just The Spotlight Affect in action.

3. Flip your Focus
Now that you understand the science behind The Spotlight Affect you can understand how flipping your attention from yourself and over to something else like, how you can help others or what you can do to grow your business, can help to free you from Imposter Syndrome.

It can be so easy to accidentally have a single focus on ourselves and how awful we are. When we flip that focus onto something positive, we are able to break the looping negative thoughts that accompany Imposter Syndrome. 

4. Focus on Your Successes & What You Are Grateful For
Here’s the truth, your mind is not on your side, and this is why when Imposter Syndrome pops we focus on what we lack and who you aren’t instead of on who we are and what we have, let me explain.

It was very important for our prehistoric ancestors to focus on the lions, tigers, and bears that could eat them or the food that would be lacking next season. In other words, their survival was dependent on their brain focusing on LACK and LIMITATION and since it takes 1,000’s of years for the human species to evolve, your brain is still wired to focus on the negative, even though these threats to your survival no longer exist in the modern world.

This is why it is so important for you to really internalize and fully feel the gratitude of your successes rather than focusing on your failures. CLICK HERE to read a blog post I wrote detailing the amazing science-based benefits that come with practicing gratitude. It's pretty amazing. 

5. Listen To Positive Affirmation Tracks
Listening to positive affirmation tracks is a super easy thing you can do to rewire the thoughts and beliefs you carry in your mind. Imposture Syndrome happens because we subconsciously carry a belief about ourselves that we are not good, enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough... FILL IN THE BLANK enough. Listening to positive affirmation tracks allows you to rewrite and replace these beliefs with positive ones. 

At first, when you begin to listen to positive affirmations, your brain might doubt what it hears is true. This is because the wiring in the brain hasn't been reset yet. The more and more and more you listen the softer your mindset will become and soon the affirmations will become beliefs. CLICK HERE to download a free, 60 minute long, positive affirmations track. 

BONUS STRATEGY:
If you'd like to discuss and learn even more about Imposture Syndrome join me LIVE today (Tuesday, Jan. 22nd) at 12 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

Now, I would love to hear which strategy is your favorite and which ones you are excited to try or have tried in the past. 

Hit the reply button and let me know. 

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
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PS- Remember to join the MBD for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE.Can't wait to see you there! 

How to Overcome Social Anxiety

So, you know how there are some people who can walk into a room full of strangers (by themselves!) with full confidence? Able to strike up a conversation with anyone?

While others can hardly say hello to the mailman they've had for 10 years, let alone a room full of strangers.

For the latter, this uncomfortable "shyness" only gets worse in situations where they feel on display or when in group settings, like a workout class or a networking event.

For some people (like me!), this "shyness" can turn into debilitating social anxiety.

Can you believe I couldn't even leave my house at one point?

If the fear of stepping out into social situations is holding you back from doing great things in the world, please know, you are not alone. Far from it. 

The truth is, over 15 million people suffer with social anxiety in the U.S. alone, making it extremely common.

Watch the video below, or keep reading, to hear Steph's story of social anxiety and how she overcame it. 

So what is social anxiety anyway?

People with social anxiety usually experience distress when:

  • They're introduced to new people

  • They feel teased or criticized (which feels as though is happening ALL THE TIME even when it's not.)

  • They're the center of attention (I used to hate this so much!)

  • Being watched while doing something (cringe!)

  • Meeting authority figures or anyone perceived as "important"

  • Most social encounters, especially with strangers

  • Going around the room (or table) in a circle and having to say something (more cringing!)

  • Interpersonal relationships (romantic, business, and friendships can all cause discomfort)

Social anxiety is, in a very small nutshell, the fear of being negatively judged by others.

This perceived judgment (which most of the time IS NOT REAL, watch the video for more on this) leads to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, self-consciousness, embarrassment, humiliation, and sometimes even depression.

Here's the cool part, if I have been able to heal myself of this, you can too. It took my many years to figure out how to get a handle on, it and what to do to combat it. 

Below are the 4 main strategies I used to leave social anxiety in the dust (much more on all of these in the video):

  • Practice self-love and self-worth

    • When you truly love yourself and understand how worthy you are you feel comfortable anyplace, around anyone. YOU ARE A QUEEN. 

  • Release judgments of self AND others

    • The more we judge ourselves and others, the more we feel judged. Period. 

  • Get help

    • Whether it is a therapist or a coach, it is important to get help when the going gets tough. Remember, you are not alone. 

  • Finally understand you have some important gifts to set-forth in the world

    • I truly believe that each and every one of us was brought here to earth for a very specific and divine reason. It is your job to figure out what that is and to then confidently step out into the world and let it rip! (this is my favorite thing to help women do.)

Another cool thing is that listening toPositive Affirmation Trackscan help a ton with all of these things too. 

The bottom line is.... you are supposed to feel comfortable and confident anyplace, anywhere, anytime and around anyone.

If you don't, that just means there are some things you need to take a closer look at. 

If I can do it, you can do it. yay! 

Much Love, 

Steph
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How To Manifest Anything Into Your Life In 3 Simple Steps

Have you ever wondered what MANIFESTING is or how the heck you do it? In this video I give you the 3 super simple steps you can use to manifest ANYTHING into your life.

DIY Pinhole Camera Solar Eclipse Viewer

Here is a tutorial I just filmed to show you how to quickly and easily make a pinhole camera for safe viewing of the total solar eclipse tomorrow! All you'll need is a tape, a box, knife/box cutter, white sheet of paper, tin foil, and a pin or thumb tack. ENJOY!