mindset coach for women

You Are Different, Here's Why 💫

Good Morning Queen, 

Today I want to tell you why you are different than the vast majority of the population. All the others who do not understand what powerful creators they are. 

Most people believe the negative thoughts they think about how unworthy they are, about how they aren't capable, about how they don't deserve to receive greatly in life, about how they will always suffer.... are true. 

This is something I understand so well. I lived most of my life believing theseFEAR based thoughts:

-False
-Evidence
-Appearing
-Real 

Then one day I finally got sick of that life, discovered how to change my mindset, and up-leveled my whole entire life. With this new found knowledge I began to help other women do the exact same thing in their lives too.  

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Sometimes our negative thoughts are rooted down so deep in the subconscious mind that we actually believe they are true even when they aren’t.

Believe it or not, if you are unhappy, it’s actually easier to stay that way than it is to change. To keep believing the same untrue beliefs. To keep believing you aren’t good enough. To stay stuck. To blame, criticize, and judge yourself and others.

That’s why most people stay stuck in lack and limitation forever.

That’s why you are different.

You are the type of person who takes massive action. You are the type of person who says enough is enough. You are the type of person who is so sick of hearing herself complain.

You understand your worth and you’re willing to fight for it. You’re willing to get help because you understand the vibration of the world depends on it. When you rise, everyone and everything around you rises too 

You are ready to step into your Queen version. You don’t have to ask ANYONE for permission. You do what you know you need to do to get to your next best place. Your heart, soul, and intuition tell you when it is time to move, not anyone else. 

See, I told you, you are different. :)

If you'd like to discuss and learn even more this topic join me LIVE today (Tuesday, April 23rd) around 1 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
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PS- Are you finally ready to start living a life you truly love? Ready to become a powerful manifester? Ready to start growing a spiritually aligned and thriving business? CLICK HERE to book a 60 min, complimentary Soulmate Session with me. 

KonMari Your Life and Mind Not Just Your Closet (Here's How) 💃💫

Hi my gorgeous friend, 

Happy Tuesday :)

About 3.5 years ago, 1 month before my mom passed away, I serendipitously discovered the book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo.

(Have you read it? Hit reply and let me know what you thought of it.)

Once I heard her method included organizing things into piles that bring you joy and those that don't, I knew I had to get a copy. 

This is something I had been recommending my coaching clients do for years. I just didn't say it as eloquently as Marie Kondo does lol. 

I read the book because I was interested in Marie's methodology. What I didn't know was that this book would help me tremendously when I lost my beautiful mother.

Just one month later, my sister and I found ourselves going through, and having to donate, most of our Mom's things after she passed away. 

Reading this book gave me the clarity and strength I needed to understand that my beloved mother did not live in her things. I would always have her memory no matter how many of her things I donated.

I was able to objectively ask myself, does this bring me joy? And if the answer was no, I put it in the donate pile. 

Ever since then, it's become one of my favorite books, for more reasons that one, as you'll soon see.

Marie Kondo now has a Netflix series that is taking the world by storm! I have even seen articles saying that places like GoodWill have been receiving an overflow of donations ever since the series aired! 

This got me thinking, what if people jumped on the bandwagon of ridding their mind and lives of the people, places, things, ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and self-talk that don't bring them joy with as much gusto as they do their closets?

This is actually a topic I have wanted to write about for years but I've been putting it off because it seemed so hard to articulate. 

As a matter of fact, in the middle of writing this blog, I realized that I just can't do it! lol. So instead, I got on camera and made a video so I could explain my thoughts about this to you verbally.  

Check out the video below. FYI... It's exactly 11:11 minutes long! If you know then you know :)

Now, do you get it?

Imagine how your life and business would change if you "KonMari'd" your life and mind instead of just your closet?

You would be the most powerful manifester known to man! You'd be a world changer and happier than you'd ever dreamed possible. 

Let's discuss this topic further! Join me LIVe in the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group around 1pm EST today. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join. Can’t wait to see you there!

If you'd like to learn more about the "KonMari Your Life" coaching package or if you'd like to take me up on my $500 off {!!!!!} any coaching package offer, simply CLICK HERE to complete a short application for a Soulmate Session with me. 

There is absolutely no obligation to book a Soulmate Session and they are complimentary. It simply gives us a chance to hang out, connect, and see if we are a good fit for each other. 

CLICK HERE for your complimentary session.

If you have any questions, please respond to this email and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

Can’t wait to hang out with you soon. :)

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
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PS- Remember to join the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE. I’ll be going LIVE in there today around 1pm EST. Can’t wait to see you there!

Is Perfectionism Holding You Back From Success? 🙈🙅

Hello Beauty!

Years ago, when I had severe anxiety, was completely broke, lonely, and lost… I held myself back so much because I thought I had to be perfect in order to be worthy. 

I allowed perfectionism to stop me from going after my dreams. I thought I had to be perfectly thin, perfectly dressed, perfectly smart, perfectly skilled, perfectly well-spoken, perfectly *fill in the blank* in order to be successful. 

No wonder I was so scared to move forward! Can you relate? 

You know what's interesting? According to the latest research, perfectionism has been on a steady rise over the last 3 decades. 

Some experts believe this increase is due to the amount of time we now spend on social media looking at people's "highlight reels."

These posts only show people and their families on their best days, with the best angles, best lighting, best outfits, best makeup, best hair, cleanest rooms, and are usually filtered to death. 

Even though most people aren't posting the true reality of their lives, these highlight reel posts are having a negative affect on our mindset and what we believe we need to be, do, and have in order to be worthy. 

Here is the problem with perfectionism. It is holding people back from living their dream lives. 

So, what actually is perfectionism anyway?

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Photo Cred: Psychology Today

The definition of perfectionism is: The refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

This refusal to accept anything other than perfection can express itself in many ways. You can be highly critical of yourself and, in turn, others too.

This can put a big strain on our relationships. When we place such high standards and expectations on others it can cause them to feel as though they are constantly walking on eggshells.  

Perfectionism can also be caused or reinforced by how you were raised, where you work, who you hang out with most, where you spend your spare time (like Facebook and Instagram), and also your personality. 

Interestingly, people with higher levels of anxiety tend to suffer from perfectionism more so than those who are anxiety free. (Anyone else raising their hand?? lol)

One of the biggest reasons people struggle with perfectionism (and one that is very common in the beautiful women I have the pleasure of coaching is)… Fear of failure. 

This is really a mindset issue. People who have a deep fear of failure view anything less than perfect as a failure, therefore, they avoid taking chances or going after their dreams.

Basically, they hold themselves back from greatness over an unrealistic belief that they have to be perfect in order to be successful.

Perfectionism also causes another nasty habit… procrastination. (Another topic we will be covering in depth in the Mindset By Design for Her private FB Group,click here to join in on the conversation.)

When you feel like you have to be perfect, it can make it really hard for you to want to get started. As a matter of fact, it causes your brain to go into analysis paralysis. 

Luckily, there are a few simple strategies we can implement to stop perfectionism from holding us back from the success we want and deserve. 

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Photo Cred: Human in the System

How to Release Perfectionism for Good in 4 Simple Steps

1. Test it Out
If you have lived most of your life as a perfectionist, transforming into a free-spirited “this is good enough” kind of person overnight isn't realistic. This is why it is smarter to start with baby steps. For example, you can send an email without proofreading it 20 times first. Or you can go to a networking event even if you feel like you don't have the perfect outfit to wear or the perfect thing to say, reminding yourself before each "trial run" that perfection doesn't exist. 

Once you get comfortable dipping your toes in the “this is good enough/I am good enough” water, it will get easier and easier to release your need for perfection more and more and more. 

2. Change Your Perception 
Perfectionists can often hold the bar so high for themselves that is hard to know what “good enough” actually is. If this is you, what you can do is think to yourself, what would I tell my coworker, friend, son/daughter, or loved one about this? Would you call them too fat to speak in front of a crowd? Would you tell them they weren't perfect enough to go after their dreams? Probably not. 

Understanding when it would be “good enough” for someone else can help you to determine whether or not you are starting to fall into perfectionistic tendencies.

3. Set Time Limits 
Perfectionism can cause you to do 2 things:

#1 Procrastinate and do nothing or
#2 Make you take WAY too long to complete things so nothing ever gets done.

I currently provide mindset coaching to a large group of high-level entrepreneurs in the health space. Everyone from chiropractors, naturopaths, doctors, and dietician who are all launching online courses and practices. Some of these practitioners launch in 3 weeks while some are 12 months in and still haven’t launched. 

This is why, every chance I get, I tell the people who are taking longer to put a time limit on all the work they need to do in order to get their program launched. 

For example, if it is taking them a whole day or even a week to complete one exercise that is a red flag that perfectionism is kicking in. When I meet with these clients I always recommend that they give themselves a time limit for each task and that is the same advice I want to give to you. 

4. Schedule Your Perfectionism
For some of us, having a high standard is just in our DNA which, as we now know, can be a hindrance to our success, however, there is are different instances when your high bar can be used in your favor. So for example, if there is a task that is very detail oriented, numbers based, or if you are doing a project for a client, this can be a great time to strategically allow your high standards to shine brightly.

The important part here is that you allow yourself to, at the same time, loosen up on other things and also implement the previous strategies above too. 

DONE > PERFECT
Here is the truth, there is no such thing as perfect. It simply doesn’t exist. So if we keep aiming for perfection we will get stuck staying in the same place, never moving forward. This is why done will always beat perfect every time. 

If you'd like to discuss and learn even more about Perfectionism and how it can have a negative affect on entrepreneurs join me LIVE today (Tuesday, February 12th) at 2 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

Now I want to know, have you ever let perfectionism hold you back from greatness or going after your dreams? Hit the reply button and let me know.

Wishing you so much love!

See you later today in the group

Steph
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Feel More Productive in Coffee Shops? Here’s why ☕💥

Hi my gorgeous friend! 

I am sitting here at Armature Works in Tampa, sipping on a Yerba Mate tea, typing this blog and thought… 

Have you ever noticed how you feel way more productive and focused when you work from a coffee shop? 

I know I seem to accomplish more in two or three hours at a coffee shop than I do in an entire day working from home.

It's important to point out that I usually drink decaf coffee and tea so it’s not because of the caffeine. 

So if extra caffeine isn't the reason why most people feel more productive and focused at coffee shops then what is it, and more importantly, how can we cultivate the same focus and drive when we are at home or in the office?

Keep reading to learn the 3 key reasons you are so much more productive when you work from a coffee shop and 3 strategies you can use to enhance your productivity no matter where to you are. 

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1. Your Brain Seeks Out Novelty
The human brain is constantly seeking novelty, in other words, your subconscious mind is always on the lookout for things that are new and exciting. This makes perfect sense when you consider that our DNA and brain are still wired the same as our prehistoric ancestors. These people were hunter-gatherers roaming the earth for 1,000’s years. They were rarely in the same place for more than a few weeks or months. Talk about living a novel life! Life for them was different on a daily basis. Different is what our brain is wired to seek out, so when we don’t have it, our brain gets bored and unmotivated.

Another reason your brain likes new and different things is because when you are presented with something novel, your brain releases the neurotransmitter dopamine AKA the “feel good” chemical. Recent studies show that dopamine doesn't just make you feel good, it is also closely tied to motivation. This explains why getting yourself into a new environment, like a coffee shop, enhances your motivation, creativity, productivity, and happiness. 
 

1a. How To Make This Work For You
Basically, when you get your butt out of the house or out of your usual working space your brain really likes it. You can recreate this by taking your laptop outside or by switching up your workspace. If you work from home, move away from your desk. Sit at the kitchen table, on the couch, in the spare bedroom, or on the patio. If you work in an office, take your laptop outside. If that isn't an option for you, switch up your desk. Move your seat to the other side or buy new pictures and plants to create a new fresh feeling for your brain.


2. Some Routines Reduce Productivity 
As we learned last week some routines can really enhance productivity.  Some routines, however, do the complete opposite. For example, if you get into a routine of getting sucked down the Youtube, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter rabbit holes for hours every day instead of doing your work… that is a problem.

Just like unhealthy habits, unhealthy routines are easy to accidentally fall into but they aren’t as easy to stop. Our environment has a lot to do with our daily routines. For example, let’s say you’ve started a daily routine of going down the social media rabbit hole for hours every day and this new habit starts as soon as you sit on the couch or in the breakroom to eat lunch.

Basically this negative scrolling routine has been anchored (an NLP term used when neurology gets connected to a trigger) to your couch or breakroom. This means that the second you take yourself away from your couch or breakroom and into a new environment, like a coffee shop, that set of neurology won't loop and you’ll do work instead of getting sucked into social media.

2a. How To Make This Work For You
So if you have found that you have accidentally developed a negative routine that is draining your productivity you need to first acknowledge you have fallen into a negative routine. Once you admit it is a problem you can start to plan ways to break the pattern (which is really just looping neurology).

You can schedule in a cellphone-free walk, you can book in calls with friends and family, you can set an alarm to give yourself a specific amount of scrolling time before you have to put the phone away. If the routine, habit, or looping negative thoughts you have fallen into have become more than you can handle or break on your own, hire a coach you can trust to help you get you back on track and moving towards your hopes, wishes, and dreams. 

3. Your Intention, That’s What It’s All About
There is yet another reason why we feel so much more productive at coffee shops. It’s because we simply set the intention that we are going to be super productive before we head out. In other words, we make the conscious decision before we leave, “I am going to get a ton of work done today.” and so that is exactly what happens.

In the book, The Intention Experiment, by Lynne McTaggart,  William A. Tiller, a professor Stanford University states, “For the last 400 years, an unstated assumption of science is that human intention cannot affect what we call physical reality. Our experimental research of the past decade shows that, for today’s world and under the right conditions, this assumption is no longer correct.”

3a. How To Make This Work For You
As you can see, intention setting is very powerful and the best part is, it is easy to implement into your daily routine. In the morning, before you start work you can set some intentions for the day. These intentions can be about anything from work, to how you want to feel, to your personal life. Below are some example of some of the intentions I have set for my day in the past: 

  • I will allow today to be easy.

  • I will understand that I am fully supported by the universe/divine/source/spirit.

  • I will choose to understand that everything (even the bad things) are happening in my favor. 

  • I will intentionally smile at strangers. 

  • I will count my blessing and say thank you often

  • I will fully clean out my email inbox today. 

  • I will complete all the forms for my dog's appointments. 

  • I will get half my taxes done today. 

As you can see there are many reasons why we are more productive in coffee shops. Now you have the knowledge you need in order to bring that increase in motivation with you everywhere you go. Pretty cool right?

Want to discuss and learn even more about "The Coffee Shop Affect?" Join me LIVE today (Tuesday, Feb 5th) at 12:30 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live.

Can't wait to hang out with you live and in person inside the group!

Also, I'd love to hear what your favorite tidbit of knowledge is from today's topic. Hit the comment button and let me know :)

Much love, 

Steph
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Ever Feel Like a Fraud? How to Stop Imposter Syndrome in its Tracks💥🙅

Quick question, when it comes to being a #bossbabe biz owner, an amazing parent, or just living life... have you ever felt like a total FRAUD?

Sort of like, “Who am I to do, x, y, or z?”  or “Why would x, y, z person want to listen to me?”

If you said YES, you are definitely not alone, almost everyone has suffered from “Imposter Syndrome” at some point in their lives. Even super famous and successful people have felt this way before.  

According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, a whopping 70% of people suffer with, what the researchers refer to as, “Imposter Phenomenon."

Even more important to point out is this phenomenon affects women more than men. 

So if feeling like a fraud is so common, especially for women, what are we supposed to do when this negative feeling strikes?

Keep reading below to find out 5 strategies you can use to combat Imposter Syndrome next time it pops up in your life. 

Photo credit: Marie Forleo

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Here are 5 super simple strategies you can use to release Imposter Syndrome when it creeps up. 
⠀⠀
1.Let it Out
When you start to feel Imposter Syndrome coming on, talk about it with someone you trust like a friend, family member, or coach. Brene Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection and Rising Strong, says that the very best thing you can do in a “shame attack” is to have the courage to reach out.

Talking about your feelings neutralizes the negative charge and power they have over you. Think about a boiling pot. When you keep the lid on, the pressure builds up and eventually causes an explosion. When you remove the lid the pressure dissipates. Same with your shame.

This is one of the many reasons I include UNLIMITED Whatsapp coaching in between sessions for my clients. This allows them to reach out to me when they are having a hard time so that I can remind them how amazing they are, or in this case, all the reason why they are not a fraud, so they can move on with their lives in a positive direction MUCH quicker than they would do alone.

2. Remember The Spotlight Affect 
Sometimes when Imposter Syndrome creeps up it is because we feel judged. When you feel judged or like everyone is critiquing your every move in business, on social media, or in life you have to remember The Spotlight Affect. 

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, most of us considerably OVERESTIMATE how much attention or “spotlighting” people are placing on us. This is thought to happen because our brain perceives ourselves as the center of our own world, therefore we have a tendency to perceive our own actions, thoughts, and words to loom much larger than other people’s actions, thoughts, and words.  

In this study, the researchers were able to determine that we tend to overestimate judgments and criticisms by more than 50%! So next time you are feeling judged ask yourself if you are actually being judged or if it’s really just The Spotlight Affect in action.

3. Flip your Focus
Now that you understand the science behind The Spotlight Affect you can understand how flipping your attention from yourself and over to something else like, how you can help others or what you can do to grow your business, can help to free you from Imposter Syndrome.

It can be so easy to accidentally have a single focus on ourselves and how awful we are. When we flip that focus onto something positive, we are able to break the looping negative thoughts that accompany Imposter Syndrome. 

4. Focus on Your Successes & What You Are Grateful For
Here’s the truth, your mind is not on your side, and this is why when Imposter Syndrome pops we focus on what we lack and who you aren’t instead of on who we are and what we have, let me explain.

It was very important for our prehistoric ancestors to focus on the lions, tigers, and bears that could eat them or the food that would be lacking next season. In other words, their survival was dependent on their brain focusing on LACK and LIMITATION and since it takes 1,000’s of years for the human species to evolve, your brain is still wired to focus on the negative, even though these threats to your survival no longer exist in the modern world.

This is why it is so important for you to really internalize and fully feel the gratitude of your successes rather than focusing on your failures. CLICK HERE to read a blog post I wrote detailing the amazing science-based benefits that come with practicing gratitude. It's pretty amazing. 

5. Listen To Positive Affirmation Tracks
Listening to positive affirmation tracks is a super easy thing you can do to rewire the thoughts and beliefs you carry in your mind. Imposture Syndrome happens because we subconsciously carry a belief about ourselves that we are not good, enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough... FILL IN THE BLANK enough. Listening to positive affirmation tracks allows you to rewrite and replace these beliefs with positive ones. 

At first, when you begin to listen to positive affirmations, your brain might doubt what it hears is true. This is because the wiring in the brain hasn't been reset yet. The more and more and more you listen the softer your mindset will become and soon the affirmations will become beliefs. CLICK HERE to download a free, 60 minute long, positive affirmations track. 

BONUS STRATEGY:
If you'd like to discuss and learn even more about Imposture Syndrome join me LIVE today (Tuesday, Jan. 22nd) at 12 pm EST. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to join the private Mindset By Design for Her Facebook group where I will be going live. Can't wait to hang out with you there!

Now, I would love to hear which strategy is your favorite and which ones you are excited to try or have tried in the past. 

Hit the reply button and let me know. 

Wishing you so much love!

Steph
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PS- Remember to join the MBD for Her private FB Group by CLICKING HERE.Can't wait to see you there!